Even if there wasn't some gender experimentation going on, that sounds like the sort of name a person would be eager to leave behind. Barcus doesn't quiet wince, but a look of sympathy for the absent drow flickers across his face. He never questioned why a fourth son would flee his family. It doesn't take much knowledge of drow culture to guess that.
"I probably will forget it, honestly," he says. "Things fade from memory if you're not using them often."
"He looks well, yes. He's a druid now, and we talked a bit about spiders. I thought it might be wise to warn him about Olivine being here, but he seemed curious rather than alarmed." His gaze softens, and he leans over to place a hand on Bel's knee.
"I told him we're lovers," a pause, and then he clarifies: "I told him I love you." Because Bel might need that reminder just now.
"And I told him that you're not the same Belantar he grew up with, and...well, obviously the same goes in reverse. He's wary and a little uncertain, but he seems curious. He thought it might be best for you both to have a little space to start with, but he wants you to be well, too, and he said he would like to speak with you again some time, just not right away."
"I like him. He seems...kind, while still being practical." Which is a very druid thing, to be fair.
Bel accepts the physical comfort, and draws Barcus closer to him. Right now, he needs something grounding him, and being touched on more than just a knee helps.
"He was always kind, if not always practical. Kindness was not an asset to him when he was young," Bel said, sadly.
Bel had never thought of himself as kind until others (like Barcus) told him that he was, so he's accepted that he can be kind in a place that allows for kindness. It takes a different sort of person to be kind when everything around you is determined to punish you for it. Bel hasn't met many druids, but he's met enough clerics to know that they tended to be strong-willed and committed to whatever they believed in.
And his brother had been good with animals, though not always in ways that were useful or acceptable to their mother.
He still wasn't sure what he wanted to do with... all of this, but at least he was not being asked to make any decisions.
"Well, perhaps practicality is a little different on the surface. I have of late been reminded my own idealistic streak didn't fit perfectly in the Underdark, either."
"I was at the hot springs not long ago, and a memory of my own little brother bubbled up." His gaze is soft for a moment, lost in nostalgia, but he doesn't miss how Bel moves close, either.
He slips his arms around him and leans into him, head almost resting on his chest. "I offered myself as a go between, and he accepted. Now I have to ask whether you're all right with it. I'm sure if he stays he'll make other friends who can take over, if not. I just want to take care of you."
"I want you to know him," Bel said. "Even if we have to be slow to get to know each other again, you can at least know us both. And it probably doesn't hurt his impression of me if the first thing he learns about who I am now is that I'm your lover."
It sounds like flattery (and it is), but Bel also genuinely believes that having genuine connections with a wide variety of other people is something he couldn't have had. He had a network of friends back in the Underdark, but it was largely other male drow, usually the ones who were also considered 'expendable' in some way.
"I do want to here more about your family as well."
Barcus feels a rush of warmth in his chest; he's grateful to hear he's handled the situation well enough. Gods know he would feel terrible if Bel got overly stressed by all of this. Because family is so important to Barcus, he tends to assume it's as important to others. Sometimes it is, and other times it's too fraught and sensitive to touch.
But this seems...okay. Something that could potentially turn out very good for all involved, and he's so genuinely happy to be a bridge between two siblings.
The flattery doesn't hurt, either. He laughs gently. "I mean, it is proof you've changed, isn't it? I assume a gnome wouldn't be a viable partner where you grew up."
"And yet you've never made me feel lesser, not even once."
"My family's huge," he says with a little shrug. "I'm the fifth of eight children. I was closest to the youngest, my brother Tommten. You'd like him, I think, if you ever got the chance to meet him."
Bel laughed. "No. I don't remember how much of an ass I was about non-drow personally, because it would have been bound with the idea that the non-drow we interacted with were either enemies or slaves." Bel offers an apologetic smile, because he knows Barcus grew up with drow slavers as an actual threat, rather than an exotic tale.
"Large families are something we have in common then," Bel said. "I'd like to meet them, if it were safe for you to introduce us." Because Bel can imagine that while Barcus has accepted Bel as an individual, other deep gnomes would just see this as Barcus being either utterly deluded or coerced. "When I was actually a child, I was closer to my next-oldest brother Kyorlindraa. He ended up having some skill at wizardry, so our uncle took him as an apprentice." Which Bel was happy for, even if it was a disconnect between them. A second son who was a wizard had a place in drow society, and some degree of power, which was about the closest to 'safe' one got. "Sons are usually mostly taught by their older brothers or uncles, so it's a different sort of relationship when a brother is more than a decade or two younger than you."
"How much age difference is there between you and Tommten?"
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2025-08-30 10:45 pm (UTC)"I probably will forget it, honestly," he says. "Things fade from memory if you're not using them often."
"He looks well, yes. He's a druid now, and we talked a bit about spiders. I thought it might be wise to warn him about Olivine being here, but he seemed curious rather than alarmed." His gaze softens, and he leans over to place a hand on Bel's knee.
"I told him we're lovers," a pause, and then he clarifies: "I told him I love you." Because Bel might need that reminder just now.
"And I told him that you're not the same Belantar he grew up with, and...well, obviously the same goes in reverse. He's wary and a little uncertain, but he seems curious. He thought it might be best for you both to have a little space to start with, but he wants you to be well, too, and he said he would like to speak with you again some time, just not right away."
"I like him. He seems...kind, while still being practical." Which is a very druid thing, to be fair.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-31 01:40 am (UTC)"He was always kind, if not always practical. Kindness was not an asset to him when he was young," Bel said, sadly.
Bel had never thought of himself as kind until others (like Barcus) told him that he was, so he's accepted that he can be kind in a place that allows for kindness. It takes a different sort of person to be kind when everything around you is determined to punish you for it. Bel hasn't met many druids, but he's met enough clerics to know that they tended to be strong-willed and committed to whatever they believed in.
And his brother had been good with animals, though not always in ways that were useful or acceptable to their mother.
He still wasn't sure what he wanted to do with... all of this, but at least he was not being asked to make any decisions.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-02 04:02 am (UTC)"I was at the hot springs not long ago, and a memory of my own little brother bubbled up." His gaze is soft for a moment, lost in nostalgia, but he doesn't miss how Bel moves close, either.
He slips his arms around him and leans into him, head almost resting on his chest. "I offered myself as a go between, and he accepted. Now I have to ask whether you're all right with it. I'm sure if he stays he'll make other friends who can take over, if not. I just want to take care of you."
no subject
Date: 2025-09-02 01:12 pm (UTC)It sounds like flattery (and it is), but Bel also genuinely believes that having genuine connections with a wide variety of other people is something he couldn't have had. He had a network of friends back in the Underdark, but it was largely other male drow, usually the ones who were also considered 'expendable' in some way.
"I do want to here more about your family as well."
no subject
Date: 2025-09-04 02:22 am (UTC)But this seems...okay. Something that could potentially turn out very good for all involved, and he's so genuinely happy to be a bridge between two siblings.
The flattery doesn't hurt, either. He laughs gently. "I mean, it is proof you've changed, isn't it? I assume a gnome wouldn't be a viable partner where you grew up."
"And yet you've never made me feel lesser, not even once."
"My family's huge," he says with a little shrug. "I'm the fifth of eight children. I was closest to the youngest, my brother Tommten. You'd like him, I think, if you ever got the chance to meet him."
cw discussion of slavery
Date: 2025-09-04 01:20 pm (UTC)"Large families are something we have in common then," Bel said. "I'd like to meet them, if it were safe for you to introduce us." Because Bel can imagine that while Barcus has accepted Bel as an individual, other deep gnomes would just see this as Barcus being either utterly deluded or coerced. "When I was actually a child, I was closer to my next-oldest brother Kyorlindraa. He ended up having some skill at wizardry, so our uncle took him as an apprentice." Which Bel was happy for, even if it was a disconnect between them. A second son who was a wizard had a place in drow society, and some degree of power, which was about the closest to 'safe' one got. "Sons are usually mostly taught by their older brothers or uncles, so it's a different sort of relationship when a brother is more than a decade or two younger than you."
"How much age difference is there between you and Tommten?"