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lettersfrombel10 Tarsakh 1492 DR
An abandoned village, marked as Moonhaven
My dear River,
Potions of Speak With Animals are interesting. It really makes you aware of how many creatures want you to go away, or are looking for sex, which is relatable. I’m sure that my interest in talking to everyone makes me consider keeping such potions on hand for more occasions. Who knows, perhaps I’ll become a druid?
I managed to track down the leader of those child thieves after rescuing one of her group from some harpies who had nested far too close to the settlement. I managed to talk her down from stealing the druids’ idol, but it is more incentive that I need to do something about the situation if I am going to persist in this madness of caring for other people. I also met a tiefling bard who was attempting to compose an elegy for her dead teacher. I hope her teacher knew how much of an impact she made on her student; I don’t figure it matters now to the teacher, but... I want to make such a good impact on someone, that I move them to such grief.
Adding to the situation of ‘the number of people who want a piece of yours truly’, when we left the grove, we were approached by a pretentious asshole who turned out to be a cambion from the Nine Hells. After a suitable show of power — teleporting us somewhere that Karlach believes was part of the Nine Hells, and offering us a feast — he offered a deal; removing the tadpoles from our skulls for a price. Given that even my kin, who worship a goddess who dwells in the Abyss, have stories about infernal bargains, I declined. Master Raphael seemed to believe this was because the gravity of our situation had not sunk in. I think he underestimates the sheer contrariness of some people. At this point, while I’d prefer to be cured, and, saving that, to be dead, ‘becoming a mind flayer’ is still ranking above ‘trusting a devil who is this smarmy and overconfident’.
It is remarkably freeing to do something probably self destructive out of spite. My dear River, I do not talk about my past because it is hardly good dinner conversation, but I had prided myself on learning the rules for a person of my station and sex. And that meant doing many things because a person — usually a woman, because of how Lolth wills it — with power over me wanted me to, not because I had any desire for it, and learning how to wield my charm to convince her that she really wanted something else. I never merited particular attention, even from my mother, but was of passing interest to many. Coming to the surface means I can live for myself more, annoying employers withstanding. I have no desire to sign over any of my new freedom to these mind flayers, the Absolute (whatever that is), or this devil.
Polling my new companions did get some interesting insights into their behavior. I could tell which of us has been powerless at the hands of someone with power. Or at least shared my sentiment. Madame Lae’zel’s commitment to her queen troubles me, but loyalty to authority is something I have rejected for myself. It does mean I trust her to avoid dubious bargains not offered by her own people. Master Gale troubles me more... he has some valid points that match my own thinking — someone that powerful would not be initiating contact with us if we were run of the mill victims. We already know that something very unusual is going on, and fiendish influence adds to it. I approve of knowing more before we engage with Master Raphael further, but Gale seems to think we can outwit a devil, and that I am less sure of. And, should we do so, I suspect charm and insight would be of more use than book learning.
The others were more circumspect, but I suspect that a number of them have experiences enough like mine that they recognize Master Raphael as a predator, and one who is toying with his would-be prey. The surface folk say ‘cat and mouse’, but we tend to say ‘wasp and spider’, which is a slightly different picture. A spider is an ambush predator, but wasps will still eat spiders, taking advantage that spiders cannot fly. And some wasps lay their eggs in paralyzed spiders, so the new larva have something to eat when they hatch.
Given my current situation, I am very uncomfortable with this analogy. Perhaps I should have called Junior my little wasp larva.
I am deferring to Karlach and Wyll as both have more dealings with the Hells than I, and neither think this is a good news. Wyll reminds me that as much as I think I have nothing left to lose besides myself, a devil can always have something. And I suppose I have you, and the kids, and Orva. My current companions, who I am starting to grow fond of. Those children in the grove who I want to see grow up and complain about how the shorter-lived races always age to fast. For that matter, I am still grudgingly fond of my living siblings.
If you happen to have access to a library, please let me know what you can unearth. If this Raphael is as powerful as he seems, someone might have had dealings with him. It couldn’t hurt, though no doubt he is also aware of his reputation among mortals.
I hope by the next time I write, I will have removed at least some enemies from this list, because I am generating them faster than I like.
I remain,
Your dear friend,
Bel
From the Player:
An abandoned village, marked as Moonhaven
My dear River,
Potions of Speak With Animals are interesting. It really makes you aware of how many creatures want you to go away, or are looking for sex, which is relatable. I’m sure that my interest in talking to everyone makes me consider keeping such potions on hand for more occasions. Who knows, perhaps I’ll become a druid?
I managed to track down the leader of those child thieves after rescuing one of her group from some harpies who had nested far too close to the settlement. I managed to talk her down from stealing the druids’ idol, but it is more incentive that I need to do something about the situation if I am going to persist in this madness of caring for other people. I also met a tiefling bard who was attempting to compose an elegy for her dead teacher. I hope her teacher knew how much of an impact she made on her student; I don’t figure it matters now to the teacher, but... I want to make such a good impact on someone, that I move them to such grief.
Adding to the situation of ‘the number of people who want a piece of yours truly’, when we left the grove, we were approached by a pretentious asshole who turned out to be a cambion from the Nine Hells. After a suitable show of power — teleporting us somewhere that Karlach believes was part of the Nine Hells, and offering us a feast — he offered a deal; removing the tadpoles from our skulls for a price. Given that even my kin, who worship a goddess who dwells in the Abyss, have stories about infernal bargains, I declined. Master Raphael seemed to believe this was because the gravity of our situation had not sunk in. I think he underestimates the sheer contrariness of some people. At this point, while I’d prefer to be cured, and, saving that, to be dead, ‘becoming a mind flayer’ is still ranking above ‘trusting a devil who is this smarmy and overconfident’.
It is remarkably freeing to do something probably self destructive out of spite. My dear River, I do not talk about my past because it is hardly good dinner conversation, but I had prided myself on learning the rules for a person of my station and sex. And that meant doing many things because a person — usually a woman, because of how Lolth wills it — with power over me wanted me to, not because I had any desire for it, and learning how to wield my charm to convince her that she really wanted something else. I never merited particular attention, even from my mother, but was of passing interest to many. Coming to the surface means I can live for myself more, annoying employers withstanding. I have no desire to sign over any of my new freedom to these mind flayers, the Absolute (whatever that is), or this devil.
Polling my new companions did get some interesting insights into their behavior. I could tell which of us has been powerless at the hands of someone with power. Or at least shared my sentiment. Madame Lae’zel’s commitment to her queen troubles me, but loyalty to authority is something I have rejected for myself. It does mean I trust her to avoid dubious bargains not offered by her own people. Master Gale troubles me more... he has some valid points that match my own thinking — someone that powerful would not be initiating contact with us if we were run of the mill victims. We already know that something very unusual is going on, and fiendish influence adds to it. I approve of knowing more before we engage with Master Raphael further, but Gale seems to think we can outwit a devil, and that I am less sure of. And, should we do so, I suspect charm and insight would be of more use than book learning.
The others were more circumspect, but I suspect that a number of them have experiences enough like mine that they recognize Master Raphael as a predator, and one who is toying with his would-be prey. The surface folk say ‘cat and mouse’, but we tend to say ‘wasp and spider’, which is a slightly different picture. A spider is an ambush predator, but wasps will still eat spiders, taking advantage that spiders cannot fly. And some wasps lay their eggs in paralyzed spiders, so the new larva have something to eat when they hatch.
Given my current situation, I am very uncomfortable with this analogy. Perhaps I should have called Junior my little wasp larva.
I am deferring to Karlach and Wyll as both have more dealings with the Hells than I, and neither think this is a good news. Wyll reminds me that as much as I think I have nothing left to lose besides myself, a devil can always have something. And I suppose I have you, and the kids, and Orva. My current companions, who I am starting to grow fond of. Those children in the grove who I want to see grow up and complain about how the shorter-lived races always age to fast. For that matter, I am still grudgingly fond of my living siblings.
If you happen to have access to a library, please let me know what you can unearth. If this Raphael is as powerful as he seems, someone might have had dealings with him. It couldn’t hurt, though no doubt he is also aware of his reputation among mortals.
I hope by the next time I write, I will have removed at least some enemies from this list, because I am generating them faster than I like.
I remain,
Your dear friend,
Bel
From the Player:
I never know if I should put a content warning whenever Bel talks about his past, because he usually does so relatively obliquely, even to people he trusts. I mention in the tabletop game that I played Bel in, the main time when he just trauma-dumped on everyone was after two members of the party were kidnapped, and Bel decided that after the day they had, he was going to get drunk and cruise for someone to share his bed, and probably ended up maudlin and talking about his past to River (who came along as 'Bel is about to make some bad decisions, and needs a babysitter'). Well, okay...
[CW: So many consent issues regarding sex, of the 'with a large enough power differential, someone does not feel safe to say no even with a partner who would accept it, and this is a society where the dominant sex are not taught that they have to accept a no' variety. Also non-sexual religiously-motivated child abuse.]
Bel was basically socialized to a hierarchy where he was not allowed to say no to people above him, and that pretty much any woman of his social class were above him, though some might tread cautiously depending on how Bel's mother felt about them. While Bel doesn't see the effect of abuse from his mother, or that he couldn't even acknowledge that he had no interest in women safely until he arrived at the surface, and can still find himself unwilling to say a clear 'no' to a woman in some circumstances, it does mean he can figure out how other people react when they are powerless because of someone else taking power from them.
Bel tends to underestimate how much this fucked him up, beyond his guilt complex about his younger sibling, who was a lot more self aware and realized that the system was bullshit and maybe better to take their chances of being eaten by wild creatures. And even that is seen as a failure to pass on survival skills for a hellish childhood, rather than 'maybe an abused adolescent forced into a parental role with their younger sibling, largely out of parental neglect, is not actually going to do a good job'.
[/CW]
